prokopetz:

prokopetz:

thydungeonguy:

prokopetz:

I think we should start referring to historical figures with absurdly grand titles by the most prosaically literal translations we can come up with. Like, “Charlemagne”? “Carolus Magnus”? Fuck you, your name is “Big Chuck”.

Jesus Christ? You mean Greasy Josh?

“Jesus Christ” is an especially fun one because while yes, it does work out to “Josh, who has been anointed (with oil)”, if you chase down the etymology, khrīstós – and hence christ – more properly refers to the act of rubbing, without reference to the substance that’s being rubbed on. Thus, you can make an argument that “Jesus Christ” is most literally understood as “Josh, who has been rubbed”; I have no idea how to render that into modern colloquial English, but this is Tumblr – I’m sure we have an idea or two.

Head-Pats Josh.

(via stormy-poet)

feenyxblue:

segretecose:

me every time i take a sip of my cappuccino: do they know it’s called cappuccino because the color is similar to the sackcloth worn by capuchin friars (cappuccini). do they know capuchin friars got their name from the hood (cappuccio) they wear. do they know cappuccino is a double diminutive as it comes from capo (‘robe’) + uccio = cappuccio ('hood’ but literally 'little robe’) + ino = cappuccino ('tiny hood’ but literally 'tiny little robe’). do they know

It was an

Itsy bitsy

Teeny weeny

Hooded capuchin robe drinky

(via shiroscosmicass)

slfcare:

things to do when your day’s been bad

• lie down on the floor beside your bed
• take a shower, use the good soap
• listen to a song you liked ages ago
• write your thoughts out in all caps
• draw a head and then ‘decorate’ that head however you’re feeling (I drew a man with a hole for a face. It worked)
• listen to a song and try to focus on one (1) instrument at a time, baseline, drums, guitar, another guitar, repeating sound effect
• wash your face
• take a nap or go to bed early
• call someone. tell them about your horrible day or let them talk about theirs or both
• go through your camera roll (specifically the screenshots folder)
• go through your saved instagram posts / tumblr likes
• watch That One Really Great Live Performance of That Artist You Love, then read the comments of everyone having great taste like you do
• cry a little about it
• remember that this day will end and another will begin. it’ll be all new, never experienced before, no bad things will have happened, and you’ll be okay.

(via shiroscosmicass)

sunrisethoughts02:

You might have disappointed some people; this doesn’t mean you are a disappointment.

you might not have have met some people’s needs; this doesn’t mean you are a failure.

you might not have received the love you needed; this doesn’t mean you are unlovable.

just because you did not meet other people’s expectations doesn’t mean you are fundamentally flawed or a waste of space. You are a human who is growing and learning and trying again.

(via shiroscosmicass)

adoenamedbeeb:

skulk-id:

my-dudedededed:

captainlordauditor:

bogleech:

followthebluebell:

shadowpuppy2:

captain-price-officially:

Wet beast Wednesday

Oh they’re notching her tail. See the little bit taken out? That tells whoever catches her next to let her go– it’s a sort of “hey, this is a reproductive female; let’s keep the cycle going by putting her right back in the water” signal. The bit will grow back in 2-3 shed cycles, which takes a couple years.

They know she’s able to reproduce bc she was caught with eggs.

The abrupt way he slams the fish into her claw is so funny though like take your fucking lunch and get the fuck out of here. Ma'am.

Imagine being grabbed by eldritch giants and they give you lunch and send you back home

Imagine they shove a whole fucking cow in your arms and throw you back to the Earth

It’s better than that, even. First they give you a tramp stamp that says, “Too fuckable to kill” and THEN they slam a dead cow into your arms and throw you back to Earth.

Get bred, get bread

(via letmetellyouaboutmyfeels)

passionpeachy:

passionpeachy:

Last night I had a dream I woke up to find that my house had been turned into a Smart House with every wall being a digital screen including the roof so I could see it even laying on bed and the Siri voice said “Don’t worry. You are perfectly safe in your Apple Smart Home™️” knowing I have a BIG phobia of intruders especially at night and it continued with “Let’s explore the neighborhood from the comfort of your home” so it opened google maps and accidentally zoomed past a shitty jpeg of the girl from The Ring standing outside my house and it said “ignore that”. woke up laughing

(via stormy-poet)

saxifraga-x-urbium:

plain-flavoured-english:

Your purpose in life is not to love yourself but to love being yourself.

If you goal is to love yourself, then your focus is directed inward toward yourself, and you end up constantly watching yourself from the outside, disconnected, trying to summon the “correct” feelings towards yourself or fashion yourself into something you can approve of.

If your goal is to love being yourself, then your focus is directed outward towards life, on living and making decisions based on what brings you pleasure and fulfillment.

Be the subject, not the object. It doesn’t matter what you think of yourself. You are experiencing life. Life is not experiencing you.

Thank you this is the first post about self love that hasn’t made me want to throw things

(via letmetellyouaboutmyfeels)

alternativeulster:

ragsy:

craftycrab:

deermouth:

deermouth:

lrb is SO FUN

Oh this is great news

(via unsungfury)

View high resolution

(via caressingthepanda)

View high resolution

ihasafandom:

icedsilver:

bunnyfood:

“My wife’s horse has a problem with flies bothering his leg wound so she harnessed her Doctoral degree and fashioned him jean suspenders…”

(Source: Ben Voytas)

Jorse

finally, an answer to how a horse would wear jeans

(via shiroscosmicass)

dark-magician-girl-meets-world:

macspaguer:

LADS LADS LADS LADS LADS LADS LADS LADS

(via shiroscosmicass)

lithiumseven:

Frodo: *stabbed by an immortal blade*

The Hobbits: What do we do Mr. Strider

The Hobbits: *looking to this big scary mountain man so intimidating and mysterious they don’t even know his real name*

Aragorn, truly just some guy at heart: I’m gonna call my dad

(via shiroscosmicass)

lenin-it-to-win-it:

Frodo: Sam hates Gollum, but that is what I shall become once I have lost myself to the ring… he’ll despise me… 

Sam if Frodo did turn into a Gollum: That’s a very nice fish you caught with your bare hands, Mr. Frodo, and its very smart of you to eat it raw, saves us the trouble of starting a fire. I knitted you a sweater in case you get cold running around in that loincloth of yours. Is the sun hurting your eyes? I’ll kill it if it’s bothering you. I’ll kill the sun

(via shiroscosmicass)

teaboot:

lesb0:

Maids, cleaners, janitors, and sanitation workers are all the most important people of civilization by far. Even 12 hours without them is VERY noticable and they simply need to be highly compensated for it

I used to work for mall management and I promise you that sanitation and maintenance workers are the only things separating human civilization from the raw fucking animal darkness of wolves, chimps, and rats in the gutter

(via kayliemalinza)

errydaysleepy:

Indubitably 🧐

(via kayliemalinza)